Friday, September 18, 2009

Joe's Bones

In response to former President Jimmy Carter’s correct assertion that Congressman Joe Wilson’s “You Lie!” outburst was racist, Joe’s son Alan Wilson retorts: “There is not a racist bone in my dad’s body!”

Now - as far as my limited knowledge of medical history goes – there have so far been no findings of “racist bones” anywhere in the world. I am sure that if “racist bones” were ever diagnosed or unearthed, there would be a tremendous amount of media coverage, there would be a wholesale shift in the way psychiatrists would pursue the genesis of certain behaviors, and somebody would be up for a Nobel Prize.

So, until we learn more about this hypothesized connection between racism and the skeletal system, I hope Alan will stop trying to move our attention from his dad’s mind to his bones. We would like to focus on his dad’s mind. We want to do so, because his mind informs his politics. And this is only because his big mouth gave us a glimpse of the possibility of racism harbored in his mind, not his bones.

This is not to say we are not open to other possibilities. Obviously, Alan does not think anything came from Daddy Joe's bones. But hey, maybe it did. If it can be proven that the excited racism that was hurled like putrefying vomit out of his dirty mouth, originated from his bones, rather than his Confederacy infected brain – we may have a real medical anomaly on our hands. And - check this! A good excuse too! "Hey people - It WAS the bones - after all." This is something that needs to looked-at, studied closely, and heavily researched. The due diligence on this must be done before we eliminate his bones as a possible cause of his impolite eruption.

Knowing Congressman Wilson as being a “patriotic” American, and with that, I am sure, sincerely wanting America to be ahead in all things – including groundbreaking medical research. I can assume he would love to expedite good research findings by offering himself up for dissection – you know, for the sake of American leadership! Can’t I?

My associates don’t think he will do that.

Alan Wilson also said that: “He doesn’t even laugh at distasteful jokes.” Now, I would not doubt that, he seems to be an OK guy in certain quarters, but that statement does not mean much to the rest of us. The rest of us do not have any comprehensive insight on what Joe Wilson actually considers distasteful. But we can surmise a few things regarding what he does NOT consider "distasteful." Those few things that can be surmised were gleaned from his political history and recent events.

Now – we and the world saw he does not consider it distasteful to shout disparagingly at THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, in the House Chamber, during a major Presidential address. We got this – it’s on tape. He also does not consider it distasteful to belong to or be friendly with, certain white supremacy organizations, like the Sons of Confederate Veterans. We know this - it's on Wikipedia.

He did not consider it distasteful to defend the Confederacy, and the flying of the racist Confederate flag on top of the South Carolina State Capitol – despite the fact that ninety-nine percent of the state’s Black population (also known as citizens) found THAT distasteful. We know this too - it's in several newspapers.

But – I am not so sure about Congressman Wilson when it comes to matters of actual, pinpoint identifiable taste. I am not one to criticize what different people consider beautiful or acceptable. But I would not be surprised to find one of those velvet Elvis paintings in his living room. I would not be surprised to find rope, kerosene, handcuffs, bats, and chain in his shed, and I would not be surprised to find one of his closets full of white, bedsheet-like clothing.

I also would not be surprised to find that the jokes I find “distasteful” are not the jokes he finds “distasteful.” Alan, unfortunately, could not tell us who was telling the jokes, or exactly what kind of jokes Daddy Joe finds "distasteful." Aside from that - we need to find out about those bones. "Racist bones!" Man! Talk about a scientific coup!

Once we vote him out of office, we can make sure he remains useful, and famous, and gone, by checking him into the nearest medical research facility.

Doctors - sharpen your knives!!!

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